Noveltease: Ron Weasley is a rapper.

Check out Ron Weasley’s latest album. If you haven’t heard, the lovable red-head has become a crossover rap sensation! We’ve also included the lyrics to Wizards N the Hood and Straight outta Hogwartz.


    Straight Outta Hogwartz

Straight outta Hogwartz crazy motherflipper named ginga nut
From the gang called Gryfindors With Attitudes
When I’m called off I got a sawed off
Wave the wand and bodies are hauled off
You too boy if ya mess with me
The death eaters are gonna hafta come and get me
Off yo butt that’s how I’m goin out
For the punk motherflippers that’s showin out
Muggles start to mumble, they wanna rumble
Mix em and cook em in a pot like gumbo
Goin off on a motherflipper like that
with a wand that’s pointed at yo butt
So give it up smooth
Ain’t no tellin when I’m down for a jack move
Here’s a murder rap to keep yo dancin
with a crime record like voldemort
wands are the tool
Don’t make me act the motherflippin fool
Me you can go toe to toe, no maybe
I’m knockin eaters out tha box, daily
yo weekly, monthly and yearly
until them dumb motherflippas see clearly
that I’m down with the capital R-O-N
Boy you can’t mess with me
So when I’m in your neighborhood, you better duck
Coz Ginga Nut is crazy as a duck
As I leave, believe I’m stompin
but when I come back, boy, I’m comin straight outta Hogwartz

*chorus*

[Castle of Hogwartz, Castle of Hogwartz]

[Harry P] Yo Ron
[Ginger Nut] Whassup?
[Harry P] Tell em where you from!

Straight outta Hogwartz, another crazy “butt” muggle
More punks I wand,yo, my rep gets bigger
I’m a bad motherflipper and you know this
But the kitty butt poop face don’t show this
But I don’t give a duck, I’m a take a nap
If not from the records, from jackin the crops
Just like burglary, the definition is ‘jackin’
And when illegally armed it’s called ‘packin’
Wand a motherflippa in a minute
I find a good piece o’ scabbers, I go up in it
So if you’re at a show in the front row
I’m a call you a muggle or dunglicker
You’ll probably get mad like Malfloy is supposed to
But that shows me, girl, you’re composed to
a crazy muthaflipper from tha street
Avada Kedavra cause I’m tearin up crap
Ginga Nut controls the wand
For any dumb muthaflipper that hates the magic
Not the right hand cause I’m the hand itself
every time I pull a spell off a scroll
The security is maximum and dumbledore is law
R-O-N spells Ron but I’m raw
See, coz I’m the motherflippen ginga
The definition is clear, you’re the witness of a beating
that’s takin place without a clue
And once you’re on the sneakascope, your butt is through
Look, you might take it as a trip
but a ginga like Ron is on a gangsta tip
Straight outta Hogwartz…

*chorus*

[Castle of Hogwartz, Castle of Hogwartz]

[Ginger Nut] Harry P is his name and the boy is comin…

…straight outta Hogwarts
is a brotha that’ll smother Ron’s mother
and make ya sister think I love her
Dangerous motherflipper raises hell
And if I ever get caught I make bail
See, I don’t give a crap, that’s the problem
I see a motherflippen dementor I don’t dodge him
But I’m smart, lay low, creep a while
And when I see mrs. norris pass, I smile
To me it’s kinda funny, the attitude showin a wizard hiding
but don’t know where the crap he’s going, just rollin
lookin for the one they call Hagrid
But here’s a flash, they never seize me
Ruthless! Never seen like a shadow in the dark
except when I unveil, see I’ll get over the hesitation
and hear the scream of the wicked Expecto Patronum
Give a little gust of wind and I’m jettin
But leave a memory no one’ll be forgettin
So what about the malfloy who got cursed? Screw him!
You think I give a darn about a slytherin? I ain’t a sucker!
This is the autobiography of the HP, and if you ever mess with me
You’ll get taken by a stupid dope brotha who will smother
word to the motherflipper, straight outta Hogwartz

*chorus*

[Castle of Hogwartz, Castle of Hogwartz]

[Darn that wand is dope!]

    Wizards N the Hood

[Harry P:]

Hey yo, remember that shit Ginga Nut did a while back
Motherflippas said it wasn’t gonna work (word)
That crazy crap, yeah the stupid crap
Hey yo Ron!(yo!)
Hey man why don’t you come off the piano for a minute
And bust this crazy poop

[Ginger Nut]

Woke up quick at about noon
Just thought that I had to be in Hogwartz soon
I gotta get Dobby before the day begin
Before my mother starts yellin’ bout my tardiness
About to go and damn near went blind
Young Dobby at the pad throwin up giant cakes
Ran upstairs and grabbed my wand
With the wand on the side of my hip
Bailed outside and pointed my weapon
Just as I thought, the fools kept steppin
Jumped in the fo’ hit the juice on my ride
I got front back and side to side
Then I let the dobby play
Bumpin new crap by dudley
It was wizard wizard at the top of the list
Then I played my own crap, it went somethin like this:

Cruisin down the tracks in the hogz express
Jockin the girls,eating the candies
Went to the front to get the scoop
Purebloods out there judging some muggles
A broom flies up, who can it be?
A fresh Harry Potter, searching the snitch
He zooms ahead dodging those bludgers
It’s all about the snitch the gold friken snitch
*chorus*

Cuz the wizards n tha hood are always hard
You come talkin that trash we’ll pull your scarf
Knowin nothin in life but to be legit
Don’t quote me boy, cuz I ain’t sayin shmit

Down on b’s in the place to give me the pace
He said my man jb is on freebase
The boy jb was a friend of mine
Til I caught him in my car tryin to steal my alpine
Chased him up the street to call a truce
The silly motherfucker pull out a deuce-deuce
Little did he know I had a loaded 12 gauge
One sucker dead, la times first page

*chorus*

Bored as hell and I wanna get ill
So I went to a spot where my homeboys chill
The fellows out there, makin that dollar
I pulled up in my 6-4 impala
They greet me with a 40 and I start drinkin
And from the 8-ball my breath start stinkin
Love to get my girl, to rock that body
Before I left I hit the bacardi
Went to her house to get her out of the pad
Dumb hoe says something stupid that made me mad
She said somethin that I couldn’t believe
So I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy ass weave
She started talkin shit, wouldn’t you know?
Reached back like a pimp and slapped the hoe
Her father jumped out and he started to shout
So I threw a right-cross and knocked his whole ass out

*chorus*

I’m rollin hard now I’m under control
Then wrapped the car round the whomping willow
I looked at my car and I said, oh brother
I throw it in the gutter and go buy another
Walkin home and I see the hagrid
Now he is drivin a Hippogriff
As he busted a u, they got pulled over
A dark arts teacher in a dark green nova
Hag got beaten for resistin arrest
He socked the guy in the head for rippin his guess
Now H is cut for doin the crime
For defence on the boy, he’ll do some time

*chorus*

I went to get him out but there was no bail
The fellaz start to riot in azkaban
Two days later in wizarding court
Hagrid on trial straight cold cut a fork
Distruption of a court, said the judge
On a six year sentence my man didn’t budge
Bailer came over to turn him in
Hagrid looked up and gave a grin
He yelled out fire!, then came Harry
The kid came in with a crazy wand
Dementor’s almost kissed the kid but didn’t hurt him
Both up against voldemort.

*chorus*

4 thoughts on “Noveltease: Ron Weasley is a rapper.

  1. Shoot, it’s supposed to be two songs but clearly Word press isn’t doing what I want.
    And also I don’t think it’s a lion, I think it’s a gryffindor 😉

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