A Techno Love Story

Relationships aren’t always easy. But there’s a universal language that can help–no, not the language of love. We’re talking about the language of Apple products. (“An iPhone 4S for me? You shouldn’t have.”)

You know who speaks the dialect fluently? Kevin Brooks, author of the technophilic iBoy, a novel about a teenager who becomes part person, part iPhone. Start reading it on Figment for a limited time! After reading iBoy, we here at Figment were inspired to pen some technolove poems. Here they are, from us to you. Feel free to send them to your loved ones, your wish-they-were-your-loved-ones, and your wish-they-realized-you-didn’t-love-them ones.

For the beloved who doesn’t know you exist:

O thou, Apple of mine eye, Pad
Not thy heart from mine affections.
I’d Tune the stars to twinkle down in thy wake,
A trail of heavenly dust kissing each venerated footprint.
Thou mustn’t contest thy beauty, a Classic in a world of Zunes.
Hark! To memorize the curve of thy Click-wheel,
To read thine eyes like an open Macbook,
I should wait in line for days for just a Touch.

For your girlfriend/boyfriend:

Violets are violet,
Red roses are rad.
I carry you with me
Like a hipster’s iPad.

For a long-lost pal:

Silence is golden,
But loneliness kills.
So send me a text,
You’re worth my iPhone bills.

For your boy:

Two peas in an iPod,
Our Macbook’s a Pro.
Just wanted to thank you
For being my bro.

For someone who needs to get served:

Lemons are sour
While sugar is sweet.
My iPhone 4S
Has your Android phone beat.

For your soon-to-be ex:

Some roads have a fork,
While others may bend.
You never FaceTime me
So this is our end.

Are you inspired? Leave your tech-y love poems in the comments!

4 thoughts on “A Techno Love Story

  1. I came here to tell you that my
    love for you is like
    my love of the sunshine and the rain, that my
    iPhone background is a photo of you and
    more than that, I think of you more
    than twenty four hours a day
    I cannot dream of anything but you and my
    love of you.
    You are my one and only.
    (Hint: read the first word of each line for the *cough* true meaning *cough*.)

  2. I look down at my iPhone,
    the background a picture of you,
    and me,
    standing by the lake one summer day.

    What went wrong?
    We Facetimed each other 24/7,
    Twittering, MySpacing, Facebooking in all its glory.

    I remember,
    I stood in line,
    for days,
    weeks,
    months.

    Waiting for the new iPhone,
    that was you.

    But now I have it,
    I realize,
    that really,
    this new brand,
    is not really all it could have been.

    The glitches, the glitches!
    The awkward silence between us,
    stretching for miles and miles,
    like my downloaded apps.

    We both are not good with people,
    so that’s why we reverted to our iPhones,
    and that’s why we seemed so perfect with each other,

    but that doesn’t seem enough.

    I want a person to fill up the silence, talk for me.
    Not to help the silence grow.

    New brands of iPhones come out day by day,
    I hope you’ll find your perfect fit,
    as I seek mine.

  3. Siri, Siri,
    Why will my parents not get me
    an iPhone 4S?
    I could make Trekkie jokes
    To you all day.
    Alas, it was not meant to be.
    Sadly, you cost
    too much for my babysitting money
    to buy, and your data plans
    are quite simply,
    Ridiculous.

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