I should be feeling confident, but I’m not.
I thought I had everything I needed to win this (really, just a Y-chromosome), but it appears all it takes is dedicated supporters. (Team Emily be damned!)
I hoped you Figs would love me and my mad beard-growing skills but said skills have been trash-talked into sad beard-growing skills. Even worse, I was teased by the faux support of my nemesis. I was so stoked to find the Team Adam Figment group, only to discover that everyone was laughing behind my back.
I’m getting desperate. The little devil on my shoulder is whispering terrible plans into my ear. The little angel is trying to calm me down, but then the little devil starts strangling him with his beard, and all the action hurts my head. Remember when the Grinch got pissed at everyone in Whoville because the Whos were all against him (in his head, at least)? Well, I know exactly how he feels. I’m bringing the heat now here in Figville, though sans sleigh.
I overheard chatter on the forums about Emily’s beard-growing tactics and when she came into work, there was a noticeable change. I. Will. Not. Be. Beaten. By. A. Girl. I’ll somehow cut all that hair off her face before it reaches her chinny chin chin…