It’s over, and the NoShavember winner?
. . .
. . .
. . .
YES! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS! AHHHHHHHH! WHAT? WHAT! YES!
I’d like to accept this handmade chocolate bunny on behalf of all the haters. Haters–I’ve heard that you’re “gon” hate. And I appreciate that. Because hate is a powerful emotion. It takes time and energy to hate someone. And while you were dumping your energy into the haterade, I was drinking it up and growing me a kick-ass ‘stache. An award-winning ‘stache. A ‘stache that I’m planning on getting waxed tomorrow, because the biker dude look doesn’t work for me.
I’d also like to thank all of my supporters. Members of Team Emily? This is as much a victory for you as it is for me. Here–have a piece of boot-legged victory Reese’s bunny.
. . . So I didn’t win? . . . Oh . . . I mean, whatever. I didn’t even want to win. What would have really been in it for me anyway–besides humiliating Emily all day, every day, for the rest of our Figgin’ lives? There was that really neat Mockingjay pin that Emily was gonna make for me. But I guess that’s not happening now . . . (I’m not that upset. I didn’t stay up all last night wishing on stars.)
Next year I will work harder. After all, I’d hate to disappoint ALL the members of Team Adam. (Yeah, that’s right. There was a group rooting for me after all! And it had, like, 100 members. But Emily deleted most of them.)
And Emily, as much as it pains me to say, you grew quite a kick ass ‘stache. You earned this extravagantly crafted chocolate bunny.
I’m off to go shave now. Silvera out!