Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince doesn’t need much of an introduction, and if it does, I’m gonna supply a super brief one but just know that I’m judging you so hard for needing one. It’s Year Six at Hogwarts for Harry and Co. as the war against Voldemort is gaining in the Dark Lord’s favor. Even more pressing, everyone’s making kissy-faces at one another and sneaking love potions around. Oh, someone really important died too. (Don’t read on if you haven’t. Just go out and buy the book, then come back here.)
Let’s see where our old friends fall on the Figment Scale of Awesome:
+600 for Snape getting what he wants! No, I’m not talking about Snape killing Dumbledore. And no, it’s not about Snape finally getting to knock Harry around when he won’t stop calling Snape a coward. Snape finally gets that promotion from Potions Master to Defence Against the Dark Arts professor that he’s been itching for! Good going there, Snivellus!
-110 for Harry being a P.I.M.P. Hormones have finally caught up with our favorite characters and in between battling the forces of evil and studying for their exams, they’re all finding someone to snog with. Harry doesn’t just have the one admirer, not two, but THREE admirers. The bitter 16-year old of me thinks I should’ve had just as many, if not more, admirers. Chosen one or not.
+340 for Tom Marvolo Riddle’s Biography. No one likes a Dark Lord without a dark past. You gotta have solid reasons to get pissed off at life and decide to dominate the wizarding world and quite simply, Voldemort is well within his right to be some damaged.
That brings Half-Blood Prince to a total of 830 points! When your parents buy you the wrong book for Christmas this weekend, just know you can always sigh in annoyance as you walk back to your bookshelf to grab this awesome novel off your shelf. Happy Holidays, Figs!