It’s official, Figs: the weather is getting frightful, the mistletoe has been hung, the lights are twinkling–the holidays are upon us! To celebrate, we’ve asked some of our favorite authors to share holiday memories with us. Tune in all through December to get in the holiday spirit!
Veronica Wolff is the author of two novels for young adults in The Watchers series. The first, Isle of Night, tells the story of teenage Annelise, who’s hit rock bottom and thinks the dashing stranger she meets might be able to offer her a better life–but she’s whisked away to an island more dangerous than anything she’s ever encountered before. The sequel to Isle of Night, Vampire’s Kiss, will be out in March. Read Veronica’s books for tips on how to survive a fight to the death on a vampire-infested island, and read her blog post below for tips on how to survive the holiday season!
The Wolff Family Holiday Survival Guide
1. DON’T: Wear any pants involving a zipper.
Constriction to be avoided at all costs. Lycra, elastic, or sweatpant materials most recommended to allow consumption of leftover pie (first breakfast), obscene amount of jellybeans (second breakfast), and brownies with ice cream (remainder meals).
2. DO: Find yourself a good, spill-proof beverage container.
You must continue hydration on the couch or other lounging device. High amount of sodium found in favorite holiday treats causes comparably high degree of thirst. House favorite is sparkling water.
3. DO: Create a hands-free environment.
Both hands will be needed to operate remote control technology, flip magazine and book pages, and to cover ones eyes in the event of a scary movie. Trays and pockets are recommended vehicles for stray “clickers” and also for pre-packed snacks (ref: jellybeans, above.)
4. DO: Create a peaceful environment.
Loud, abrupt noises to be avoided at all costs. Examples include: cellular telephones, land-lines, alarm clocks, or other timing devices. These things are perilous to one’s holiday leisure—remove them from the area.
5. DO: Relax!
Sudden movements are inadvisable. Bathroom and refrigerator breaks allowed, but shuffling is the recommended gait. Remember: slow and steady wins the race.
6. DO: Plan ahead.
Be prepared. Have all necessary foodstuffs on hand, in a variety of sweet and savory combinations. Random convenience store runs are the bane of a peaceful holiday and often involve the breaking of important Survival Guide practices: e.g. zippers (ref: rule 1), sudden mobility (ref: rule 5).
7. DO: Have a fabulous, safe, and super fun holiday season!