One of the greatest things about our contest to win tickets to the Broadway play Seminar (other than the fact that there are TEN chances to win) is the opportunity to see Alan Rickman in person.
Alan plays Leonard, a condescending (if famous) and sarcastic (if handsome) author, who is paid by four young aspiring writers to mentor them and improve their work. Leonard’s caustic and cutting responses would be downright cruel, but c’mon! It’s Alan Rickman. Anything the man says sounds like chocolate sliding down an ice cream cone.
What else would sound acceptable if spoken by Alan Rickman? A sampling:
“I hate to say this, but your wisdom tooth is completely impacted and we’re going to have to yank it out.”
“I’ve been collecting little strands of your hair all year, and I finally managed to get enough to weave a blanket.”
“I wouldn’t call your car completely destroyed. I mean, it is, but I wouldn’t call it that.”
“Cannibal is such a judgmental word.”
“It’s not that I never shower. I just don’t believe in soap.”
“You don’t need to visit your mother. I need to get in line for this new iPhone.”