7 Fictional Fiction Modernizations

We love almost every update of classic literature that we can get our hands on. She’s The Man? Why didn’t Shakespeare include soccer in Twelfth Night originally? Clueless? Emma would have died for some chic Calvin Klein. A Cinderella Story? Cinderella seemed like a smart chick. If she could have fled her family to go to college, she would have! It’s why we love our contest with Justine Magazineupdate a classic story and you could see your tale in print!

There are some updates, however, that haven’t yet been made–for good reason! As much as we love us some good ol’ modernization, these fictional fiction updates are just too much.

Great X-pec Skations
Pip is an aspiring extreme skater, looking to impress Essie Tell, the gorgeous female skater under the thumb of Hoversham, the hover-board company manically obsessed with the dying dream of the 80s.

Lord of the Bling
Only one DJ can wear The Medallion. Many have been killed in pursuit of this bling, and more will come. FrodYo knows the Medallion means nothing but trouble. He wants to destroy it, but he’ll have to travel to the underground club More Door, on the other. Side. Of. Town.

The Scarlet Letterman
A four-sport athlete finds himself awarded a red letter on his varsity jacket by a community that shuns his promiscuous intramural activity.

Wuthering High
Heath Cliff is dark, brooding, and whiny. Catherine is stunning, cold, and whiny. Their love ravages everyone it touches, but most of the people in the school just want them to. Shut. Up.

Jane Air
Jane is hired as a stewardess for a major airline. The notoriously bad-boy owner, Edward “Rock” Chester, takes a special interest in her and, improbably, a romance brews. But when a tabloid reveals some living skeletons in Edward’s closet…

The 0.DYss3y
One man’s journey across the internet grows legendary. He’s ready to travel to the end of the web, but after spending so much time linked in, will he be able to find his way back to his IRL GF Penny?

The Great Gatsbaby
It’s The Great Gatsby, but everyone is a baby.

9 thoughts on “7 Fictional Fiction Modernizations

  1. Okay, so I feel dumb because when I first read through these, I thought they were real and I was like “Um…these things actually get published?” But I’m caught up now, so…Gotta start thinking.

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