The Future Lives of Fictional Bullies

In Speechless by Hannah Harrington, Chelsea Knot has always been a gossip. She’s loud and uncaring and indiscriminate in her slander. When one of her rumors causes real damage, she changes her ways and takes a vow of silence to avoid hurting more people. While her reform isn’t easy or popular, she knows that it is right.

Books and movies are rife with bullies, and not all of them learn the error of their ways. If the stories continued, would they find the right path? We’ve delved into the future lives of some of pop cultures most notorious bullies to see!

 

Angelica Pickles (The Rugrats)
Angelica Pickles goes to college intending to pursue a double major in business and fashion. After joining a volunteer organization (because the student leader was omgsofreakingcute), Angelica realizes how much more there is in the world. To her mother’s chagrin, Angelica begins investing time and energy into developing a program that brings toys to underprivileged children. The very first toy her program delivers? A Cynthia doll.

 

The Evil Stepsisters (Cinderella)
After becoming the Royal-Step-in-Laws, the girls trade off what (very very little) good name they have. They endorse all kinds of products, from the Royal-Step-In-Law Firm (they specialize in personal injury cases), the Royal-Stepstool-In-Laws (great for reaching high-up places), and the Royal-Step-Inn-Laws (catering to travelling business folk). Unfortunately, the Royal-Stepstool-In-Laws are prone to collapsing and cause multiple injuries. When people use the Royal-Step-In-Law Firm to sue, the sisters lose their fortunes and are issued a royal cease and desist preventing them from ever citing ties to the Princess again.

 

Regina George (Mean Girls)
In college, Regina George goes on to play D2 lacrosse. After having a drink spilled on her at a frat party by a girl who wouldn’t apologize, Regina realizes she can never escape her true Queen Bee roots. She begins a guerrilla campaign to climb the social ladder and ends up becoming president of the senior class when she’s still a junior. Her winning smile and razor sharp claws land her a job at a major corporation dedicated to convincing politicians to vote for bills that destroy wildlife sanctuaries. Confident till the end, she once slipped the President of the United States her number.

 

Nelson Muntz (The Simpsons)
Nelson Muntz learns to channel his aggression and becomes the mastermind behind a science/art project that shows the real-world implications of complex fractal trigonometry set to music. His work becomes a staple at rock concerts, and Muntz is able to support himself and his mother—ending her tenure at Hooters—through the money he makes.

 

 

 

All the high school kids in Carrie (Carrie)
Gruesome prom death.

7 thoughts on “The Future Lives of Fictional Bullies

    • Well, he was a bit of a bully, but his father was the big moster problem for darling Potter. Dudley was actually occasionally nice to Harry. There was even that end bit where he said he never thought Harry was a waste of space, so that sort of ends it for Dudley already.

    • He already turned good… there’s no point in expanding it. Jo said stuff about his future. He marries a witch and has a son who goes to Hogwarts.

    • He started a boxing clinic and became a champion, but was always regretful that he let his first punching bag, Harry, get away

  1. Dudley Dursley grew to be the proud owner of an ice cream truck and specialized in selling sweets that the Weasleys send in the mail. He’s just been sued…again.

  2. Actually, the redhead in Cinderella ended up being kind, compassionate, and married to a baker. It’s proven in the 3rd (or maybe the 2nd, I forget which one) movie installment.

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