We’re all grateful for the teachers in our lives—that’s a given. Buuuuuut… anyone you’re forced to spend a considerable amount of time with has the potential to get on your nerves, and teachers are no exception. (Especially when they do things like correct grammar on that last sentence.) Seeing as teachers are authority figures, we’re hesitant to express our negative thoughts directly. So we will blog about them. Some things you’d never say aloud to your teacher include:
“I read this book for a class last year.”
Noticing you’ve already read one of the books on next week’s syllabus is like winning the Minimal Effort Lottery. You don’t have to do the work, but you can still participate in the class discussion as if you did. Plus, you’ll be able to add in whatever your last teacher said about the book, and it’ll look like you came up with that interpretation yourself. No reason to let anyone know anything otherwise.
“Your class is not a priority for me.”
No one can do well at all-of-school all the time. Not even the overachieveriest among us. So it’s actually a smart strategy to focus on the classes in which you have borderline grades. Save the rest of the reading for when you have more time (a.k.a. 10 years after graduation, when you are schlepping your still-unread books to your fifth apartment). No need to hurt your teacher’s feelings.
“Please get your spittle under control.”
You know that thing when someone points out that your teacher’s spit accumulates on the corners of her lips, and you can’t unsee it? Or that other thing when you make the mistake of sitting in the front row and end up getting rained upon? Yeah, that Internet university is starting to look really good right about now.
“Red pen does not make you any smarter in my eyes.”
All that red pen on the essay you worked really hard to revise was NOT COOL. Some teachers throw ink around like it’s an indicator of how big their brain is. In actuality, we’re probably more likely to be impressed by a teacher who recognizes us for our pre-existing brilliance.
“Your outfit makes me uncomfortable.”
I’m no fashionista, but there have been times when a teacher’s wardrobe choices have made me question her decision-making capabilities. And since visual cues are a huge part of being an effective communicator, maybe stuff-that-doesn’t-clash should be more of a priority? Awkward…
“I’m totally using you as a character in a novel one day.”
Just keep taking notes . . . or better yet, submit to Figment!
What else would you never say aloud to your teacher? Let us know in the comments!