How To Talk To A Nerdy Boy

Now that we’ve discussed where to meet nerdy boys, it’d be irresponsible of me not to offer some guidance on what to do once you’ve got one in your field of vision. These skittish creatures are equipped with more defense mechanisms than the pirate ship in The Goonies, so you’re going to have to pull off some fancy psychological feats in order to break past their cultivated layers of caution.

Compliment his pants choice.

Nerdy guys are often insecure about their ability to clothe themselves. Complimenting his hem length decision will make him feel good, and he won’t have to deal with the anxiety of how to respond to a compliment about his actual person. Plus, if it’s specifically about his pants, neither of you will be required to make eye contact.

Ask only questions Siri would also be able to answer.

He’s used to this kind of relationship with a woman. Questions like, “Where is the nearest gas station?” and “What is the current time in London?” will be a fun, low-pressure role reversal for him. Just don’t be a smart-ass and ask if he loves you.

Offer food, drink, or shelter.

In fight-or-flight mode, nerdy boys will need to have it broken down in terms of primal acts of human kindness. Ask if he’d like some of your chips, a sip of your Gatorade, or if he needs to stand under your umbrella, and he will know you approach as a friend. (Make sure to tailor these suggestions to your actual situation. If it’s not raining, the umbrella thing will just seem creepy or like you’re a huge fan of Rihanna’s, which he probably isn’t.)

Start reciting lines from Battlestar Galactica, then be all like, “Was that out loud?”

BSG is catnip for nerdy boys. Bust out a couple quotes from Season Three, and bam, you’re instantly a nerd-boy Siren. If you don’t know any Battlestar (and if not, what are you doing messing with nerdy boys?), try Arrested DevelopmentThe Guild, or whatever was on the front page of Reddit today (ERMAHGERD!). Nerdy boys are better at communicating through someone else’s dialogue, anyway.

Don’t approach, just send him coded messages on Twitter.

Sometimes being indirect can be the most direct line to his heart. Tweet stuff that he’d find interesting (you happened to post the same link today, weird!) enticing (you go to a lot of indie concerts alone, sigh!), or just encoded (if he’s a cryptologist!), and tempt him into @sking you out.

Hang around for a very, very long time.

Be an integral part of his life. Go to events with him. Study buddy it up. Stalk which hallways he happens to take to certain classes. Make friends with his mom. Eventually he’ll convince himself beyond a reasonable doubt that you are, indeed, hanging around because you’re interested in talking to him, and he’ll develop the courage to say hello to you. At some point down the road, he might even ask you if you are dating anyone, not-that-he-cares-but-just-wondering-are-you? Warning: this tactic could take months, years even. Only employ if you have a lot of reproductive years left.

What are some other tactics you use in talking to nerdy boys? Let us know in the comments!

Photos: “Cosplayers at San Diego Comic Con 2009″ by Parka; “Butter Churning” by Terry Ballard; “We were in 2nd place at this point” by Zepfanman; “Dork on the BART” (image on the Daily Fig homepage) by Whatsername?

28 thoughts on “How To Talk To A Nerdy Boy

  1. *sigh* nerdy boys. can’t live with em, can’t live without em. i’ve currently got my nerdy boyfriend into Avatar: The Last Airbender hehehe

  2. Bahaha. Thank you Figment. ;P Ill start looking around the library during lunch and hope to God theres someone with cool pants so I can start talking about the coming DW special.
    I imagine it going like this, “Your pants are cool… do you know what else is cool? Fezzes. Fezzes are cool.”

    • Good! We need more whovians :’) a lot of my friends don’t watch Doctor Who and can’t because their parents occupy the TV time. It breaks my heart.

  3. Or you could just you know, ask. Seriously. Try it some time. The process is only this labyrinthine if you make it so. Please, don’t. Male nerds (me included) are often really confused by subtle cues.

      • Oh that’s easy. If he has no idea what to say, refuses to acknowledge it when you offer any kind of kindness, becomes as stiff as a board if you even nudge against him (no subtle message intended, I mean back straight, shoulders tense) and completely misses the perfect times for him to say something sweet, he’s interested.

        Also, if you enjoy Doctor Who or Star Trek, I can guarantee that he is imagining you in Amy Pond’s wedding dress! ;)

  4. Don’t be subtle. Try to make it obvious enough, although you might think it awkward, he will not. That is how us nerd boys think. Also, try to figure out what kind of nerd he is. Not all nerds give a crap about Dr. Who or reddit.

    • Not…. give…a…crap…. about…. DOCTOR WHO?! Not only did you use incorrect spelling but… you just implied that somehow there was some nerd in existence that doesn’t love Doctor Who. I don’t…. I just don’t understand this logic.

      • I totally agree. Doctor Who is a good show, but often literature nerds/drama geeks/math letes aren’t that interested. For the first two, try quoting Shakespeare.

  5. First, I like to read and hang around book stores and museums, I like The Lord of the Rings and Star Trek… this does not instantly make me a nerd. Maybe try not to label people based on their interests alone. Most people are rather complex and multifaceted.

    Second, when trying to get any boy’s attention, using bizarre tactics that can be construed as manipulative or creepy are usually not the way to go. Don’t stalk him in school or anywhere else… that behaviour will send most of us the other direction. We would like girlfriends, not obsessed stalker freaks.

    Don’t Tweet the same things we do, it’s weird and again, stalker-ish. It doesn’t come across as common ground. It seems like someone is trying too hard to get your attention by pretending to be interested in the things you are. Major turn off. We boys like girls who have a strong sense of self and their own personalities. I’m already me, I already have my likes and interests, so why would I want to date someone who is *exactly* like me? I might as well date myself.

    I must say, I think this attempt to give girls advice about boys with certain interests is very misleading, and most likely was conceived by a female who reads far too much YA romance. It’s not realistic advice.

    It’s simple. Say hello. Get to know each other. Find common ground without fabricating it. Be yourself. Because when all is said and done, don’t you want him to fall for you, and not a false persona?

    xoxo

    • lol I think you boys are way missing the point. I’m pretty sure this is more as something fun to read not real advice though I’m sure if a girl tried a few of them it would most likely get a laugh out of the boy. I’ve dated mostly nerdy guys in my few years of dating before engagement and at least half of them are pretty straight forward and the other half are a bunch of jerks all people are different and all girls should know that by now.

    • I think this was more of a joke. I don’t think they actually expect you to go up to strangers that look nerdy and say, “I like your pants.” And start quoting BSG. I mean, I do that anyway, just because I like BSG, but this is like the ‘how to grow your own nerd’ story. It’s sort of advice to laugh at. ^_^

  6. Let’s turn the tables for a second: what qualities do ‘nerdy’ boys like in girls? I love ‘nerdy’ boys and I’m very lucky that my school is quite science and tech focused. However, a lot of them are incredibly cute and endearing but very shy and give off mixed signals. With other guys, it’s fairly straight forward but I know quite a few self-professed ‘dorks’ that I would go out to dinner with if only they’d ask. “…if only they’d ask.” I think that is the main problem that you will run into with any guy, but probably a little more so with nerdy guys. Nobody likes rejection, so until they learn that it’s not the end of the world if a girl says no they will always be hesitant to approach someone they like. It is probably a little more of an issue with nerdy guys because it is likely that growing up they were not as accepted socially as some others. Life is too short, so if there is someone you’d like to go out with I’d just ask them out (that goes for everyone). In the end I’d rather take the rejection than regret never asking. If they don’t want to go out with you it is their loss. As for what nerdy boys like in a girl I’d say intelligence, sense of humor, and someone that likes them for who they are.

  7. That awkward moment when you realise just how much of a minority you are in that you have beome something of an endangered species in a website. DFTBA!

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