Throughout your life, you’re going to encounter people who seem to have a glow about them. A magnetism that makes you feel like if you could only hang around that person long enough, you, too, would become radioactively charismatic. Unfortunately, that seductive aura usually comes from the other person being standoffish and cliquey. We want what we can’t have, right? Don’t be a chump! Here are some signs that you’re trying too hard to turn someone into a friend.
You’re not perceived as a viable hangout entity
You ask what she’s up to tonight, and she tells you all her different options: Katie wants to watch a movie, Colleen’s having a thing at P.F. Chang’s, Dana’s doing a “Braces Off!” party. And you’re like, “That’s cool.”
She does not see your asking about her plans as an invitation to have plans with YOU – because you are not a real person. There must be someone else out there more worthy of a froyo outing with you.
You were a second-wave invite to her birthday party
Okay, we all know how to read the little timestamp in the comments on Evite. If people started responding a few weeks ago and you just now received notice of the party’s existence, your invite was just another way to get her numbers up. Don’t encourage her by attending (and/or commenting about how many bells you’ll have on, tempting as it is to discuss bells on Evite).
He has to reschedule, doesn’t suggest alternative dates
Stuff comes up. It happens to all of us. The problem becomes when the stuff that comes up derails the meetup. Only people who don’t actually want to hang out with you will say “postpone?” without offering some additional available times. More like post-P*WNED, am I right? (Please let me be right. I’m trying very hard to be relevant with internet slang.)
You attempt to sit with her at lunch, but that seat is “already taken” … by an invisible person
Foiled by that invisible person again? Curses! If the girl you’re trying to be friends with would rather save a seat for Not You on a daily basis, chances are she doesn’t actually care whether or not you guys will have time to “catch up!” that day.
He never “like”s statuses you’ve tagged him in
Tagging someone in your status is a clear signal that you’d like attention from this person, and if he doesn’t give it to you, he doesn’t care that you want attention. Ergo, he doesn’t really care if he’s hurt your feelings, ergo you should not waste your breath inviting him to see Argo.
She does not let you in her Halloween shirt group
Halloween shirt groups are the school year’s most tangible form of clique definition. If she does not invite you to participate in her “Creepy Cartoons!” group (which consists of a shirt that says “Bugs Bunny” or “Daffy” on the back — why is that creepy? — why am I still dwelling on this 10 years later?), she has effectively told you that she does not want to be associated with you in public. Fine. You’ll get more attention from being [insert topical mashup pun here], anyway.
What are some other signs that you’re working to hard to earn his/her friendship? Let us know in the comments!