6 Signs You’re Trying Too Hard To Make Someone Your Friend

Throughout your life, you’re going to encounter people who seem to have a glow about them. A magnetism that makes you feel like if you could only hang around that person long enough, you, too, would become radioactively charismatic. Unfortunately, that seductive aura usually comes from the other person being standoffish and cliquey. We want what we can’t have, right? Don’t be a chump! Here are some signs that you’re trying too hard to turn someone into a friend.

You’re not perceived as a viable hangout entity

You ask what she’s up to tonight, and she tells you all her different options: Katie wants to watch a movie, Colleen’s having a thing at P.F. Chang’s, Dana’s doing a “Braces Off!” party. And you’re like, “That’s cool.”


She does not see your asking about her plans as an invitation to have plans with YOU – because you are not a real person. There must be someone else out there more worthy of a froyo outing with you.

You were a second-wave invite to her birthday party

Okay, we all know how to read the little timestamp in the comments on Evite. If people started responding a few weeks ago and you just now received notice of the party’s existence, your invite was just another way to get her numbers up. Don’t encourage her by attending (and/or commenting about how many bells you’ll have on, tempting as it is to discuss bells on Evite).

He has to reschedule, doesn’t suggest alternative dates

Stuff comes up. It happens to all of us. The problem becomes when the stuff that comes up derails the meetup. Only people who don’t actually want to hang out with you will say “postpone?” without offering some additional available times. More like post-P*WNED, am I right? (Please let me be right. I’m trying very hard to be relevant with internet slang.)

You attempt to sit with her at lunch, but that seat is “already taken” … by an invisible person

Foiled by that invisible person again? Curses! If the girl you’re trying to be friends with would rather save a seat for Not You on a daily basis, chances are she doesn’t actually care whether or not you guys will have time to “catch up!” that day.

He never “like”s statuses you’ve tagged him in

Tagging someone in your status is a clear signal that you’d like attention from this person, and if he doesn’t give it to you, he doesn’t care that you want attention. Ergo, he doesn’t really care if he’s hurt your feelings, ergo you should not waste your breath inviting him to see Argo.

She does not let you in her Halloween shirt group

Halloween shirt groups are the school year’s most tangible form of clique definition. If she does not invite you to participate in her “Creepy Cartoons!” group (which consists of a shirt that says “Bugs Bunny” or “Daffy” on the back — why is that creepy? — why am I still dwelling on this 10 years later?), she has effectively told you that she does not want to be associated with you in public. Fine. You’ll get more attention from being [insert topical mashup pun here], anyway.

What are some other signs that you’re working to hard to earn his/her friendship? Let us know in the comments!

Photos: P.F. Chang’s restaurant chain logo; “Women Munitions Workers” by Harry Rowed; “Halloween 2008” by Shanna Riley

7 thoughts on “6 Signs You’re Trying Too Hard To Make Someone Your Friend

  1. well my mama always told me a good friend will come bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting right beside you saying man we screwed up.

  2. Another possible way that she/he isn’t interested on being your friends: You’ve been her buddy for a subject many times, being the one who gives all the answers. Next time you look for her to be a buddy, she says she’s already promised someone else. Quick fakey smile.

    Where’d you learn about this?
    Classroom, 8th Grade (:

  3. Hi, I have a friend from high school.
    I move away from my country 36 years ago. Him too , different places but same country.
    Two years ago I look for him in Facebook .
    He answer me back and it was nice to here from him.
    We talk a lot for a long time.
    I dint know I was he’s first kiss but also he remember me like I did with him. He was my first kiss too.
    Feelings grow on me but I’m merried.
    But we still talk and had fun talking .
    But now he changed I look for him and he’s very short talk with me and it hurts I toll him about it he said nothing changed.
    He used to talk to me a lot see me in the camera or phone.
    I miss him but I don’t know what to go anymore.
    I feel that I’m the want who’s more intereste in him then him on me.
    He likes my post my pictures in Facebook but he don’t look for me to talk not even say hi.
    I saw him we met we hug I was happy to see him and heal said he was happy to see me too.
    But it hurts that I’m the one who always have to look for him.
    Can you please give me a good advice and why he acts like this with me.
    Thank you!

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