Having a relationship in high school can seem like the be-all-end-all — why does romance seem to come so naturally to all your friends? — but in actuality, dating one person for an extended period of time is kind of impractical during that era of your life. Save your precious free time for The Sims; high school boyfriends and girlfriends aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Here’s why.
Your intimacy levels will be measured using sports terminology.
When you describe your relationship in terms of which bases you’ve hit, you’re just feeding into a competitive group mindset. Think about it: You either “win” or you strike out. That’s not exactly helpful, what with your already stressful life. You hate gym class; no need to bring it home.
Your friends probably have already dated this person (or want to).
The high-school dating pool contains a finite amount of legit people. You and your friends are probably all after the same person — that one who’s always doing group projects with you in honors classes. Save the drama for TNT.
You never know who’ll you’ll meet at a speech tournament.
The weekly voyage to tourneys in foreign suburbs holds limitless possibilities as to the new and exciting people you’ll meet. Especially if you make it to state finals; in light of your newfound celebrity, you’re definitely not going to want to be tied down. Also, the Holiday Inn at Nationals probably has a jacuzzi. JUST SAYIN’.
You need to remain available for [insert name of everyone’s senior crush]. Just in case.
Josh Mackintosh smiled at you in the hall that one time, even though he totally didn’t need to. So, if you’re smart, you’ll help him help you by staying single and carefree until the moment he wakes up and realizes you guys were meant to be together. You’ll know when he announces it over the PA system at prom.
Ringing the front door at someone’s parents’ house is just awkward. If he’s not answering his cell, you’re be forced to interact with his entire family, explaining that you’re really just there to drive him to church/tea time/no, that wasn’t me blasting Ke$ha in the driveway…
What happens after senior year?
NO ONE KNOWS. Post-senior-year-of-high-school is this big amorphous blob of “future.” You might do community service in Ecuador and decide you can’t date anyone who hasn’t experienced a South American outlook on life. Or you could really try to make it work but end up in a lopsided long-distance relationship where you’re all, “I have a boyfriend who lives in Canada (he goes to McGill),” and your roomies are like whatever we’re going out tonight have fun with Skype and then you try dialing him and he doesn’t answer and your anxiety goes nuts that he’s out with that girl he’s in a Facebook pic with. Quit while you’re ahead!
Any other problems with having a high school bf/gf? Let us know in the comments!