Sorry for the late recap homies! I’m as bad with technology as Kol is with finishing the job.
You guys, I’m going through a lot of emotions right now. I had to say goodbye to my favorite TV character of all time on Thursday. No, not a certain Original vampire. Liz Lemon had her last show. I’m devastated. And then I turn it over to Vampire Diaries hoping for some Caroline. BUT NO!!! STILL NO CAROLINE! Still, I enjoyed this episode a lot.
We open with Stefan, trying to dip out after his tryst with Rebekah. Too bad big bro Klaus is there to ask “Leaving so soon?”
Klaus wants to stop Kol and to do that he needs the dagger from Rebekah. Too bad she’s still a little upset about being daggered herself. None of this is euphemisms.
As soon as we saw Bonnie blowing up balloons at the school gym I knew there was not a chance I was going to get to see the beautiful Caroline tonight. P.S. Bonnie you’re a witch, you mean to tell me you individually blew up all of those balloons?
Elena’s at home keeping her bro, who is for sure bro-ing out with Matt, safe. She tells Bonnie about her plan to have Jeremy kill Kol. Then she goes to wash a dish and her hands start to burn.
That’s right, there’s vervain in dem der water supply. The reason: Bonnie’s mayor/dad who also informs Bonnie that the dance is cancelled and that they are having a family meeting that night. She gets way way way more upset about the dance then seems warranted.
Then Kol shows up at the school trying to kill Bonnie so that no one can use her to find the cure. She handily defeats him (and we learn she can pop the balloons with magic at least).
Meanwhile, Stefan takes Klaus to locked-up Damon. All that really happens in this scene is Klaus mentions that Stefan and Rebekah slept together in front of Damon.
Moving on, Elena calls Stefan to tell him that she wants Jeremy to kill Kol. They’ll get Bonnie to hold Kol just long enough for Jeremy to kill him. And also, Stefan’s going to need to stake Rebekah.
Thus begins the part of the episode where all of the strong female characters show why they are amazing. First up, Elena showing that she’s very intelligent. She lures Kol in (over the phone) by telling him she wants a truce to talk about Silas (a little shady since she wants to kill him, but I’ll allow it). Except, uh-oh, she meant like, later, and he’s at her house already. She writes down (so he can’t hear) what Matt and Jeremy have to do (Jeremy: Bonnie; Matt: Dagger). Then the Gilberts let Kol in and Jeremy runs away (like he always does . . . womp womp).
Kol and Elena chat and he asks her if she’s a “Mary Sue Vampire” (who else appreciated that one?). She does a great job of playing it cool, but he still totally catches on to her. He leaves without revealing that he totally knows she’s lying about a truce.
Next we have Rebekah, who is at her most interesting when she’s vulnerable, but still tough. She wanted to go to the 80s–themed dance really badly. Stefan says that just the two of them can go. Cue the cutest cutest scene ever totally tinged with sadness that we all know Stefan just wanted to get her out of the house. They talk about 80s pop culture. He gives her a koala pin. Mainly, it’d be the best first date ever! Darn you Stefan, quit playing games with my heart (even if that’s 90s).
Cut to Bonnie, who is so not having this family meeting. What’s nice about her character now is that she’s moved beyond getting really angry and being super powerful and now she can just turn it on and still look calm (or at least, not enraged, just a little angry). Her dad took her phone, so she’s totally surprised when Jeremy shows up and tells her Kol is there. When she is about to leave (by intimidating her father), her mom shows up!
Jeremy leaves and it seems like Bonnie’s going to follow. Instead her mom knocks her out with some kind of powder, after telling Bonnie she needs to be saved from her expression.
Jeremy runs home, thinking Bonnie is right after him (for no reason! She didn’t follow you! Did you never look back, not once?). Nope, it’s Kol who totally knows Elena lied to him about a truce. Now we get Elena showing some sweet fighting moves (that were basically impossible to screencap because of the fast-moving).
Elena and Jeremy shoot Kol a bunch of times, but he is the stronger fighter and he stabs Elena through the stomach to the wall with a stairway banister and takes Jeremy downstairs to cut off his arm. It is extremely ridiculous that he relishes in doing this instead of just cutting really fast, because obviously he’s not going to win (doesn’t he know he’s on a TV show? Oh, wait . . . obviously not).
I can point out some of the hypocrisies of Elena saying she’ll do anything to protect the people she loves, but then totally being OK with letting all the people Kol turned die. HOWEVER, she did the single most kick-butt and also completely disgusting thing I’ve seen all week. Like, I actually cringed and yelled out when I saw this. She can’t pull the banister out of her and it is stuck into the wall, so she’s trapped. So she straight up leans forward and lets the banister go completely through her. Does that make sense? Am I describing that right to you? I can’t talk about it anymore! It’s too gross. Anyway, props where props are due.
Elena catches Kol off-guard and Jeremy vervain waters him (thanks, Mr. Mayor) and then stakes him.
Klaus shows up just in time to see his brother in flames, and the face he gives is devastating. Elena’s isn’t bad either:
Oh, but after Bonnie’s mom knocked her out, she said she was going to take Bonnie to the other witches, so they could help her. Nope, Bonnie says (totally not knocked out) and she breaks the jar her mom had in her hands and leaves.
Back at Casa Gilbert, Klaus is NOT HAPPY that his brother was just killed. He says he’s going to burn the entire house down and kill Elena and Jeremy when they try to escape. This seems like a “you can’t come in unless you’re invited” loophole that more vampires should use. Anyway, Bonnie shows up and now seems fully in control of her powers.
Bonnie gets Jeremy to invite Klaus in and then she traps him in the living room (but only for three days).
Meanwhile, Rebekah and Stefan continue to break my heart. Rebekah very innocently tells Stefan not to worry about Kol, she’s got the dagger in her boot. SMART! That’s where you should keep things like that, not in your sock drawer.
Stefan has an idea though. He offers to teach her how to slide across the hallway like in an 80s movie. She can’t do it with shoes on though. But she’s onto him. She wants the cure too, so she can have romantic dances and children and real happiness with someone. !!!! Just not with Stefan, Rebekah, because he’s constantly betraying you.
The gang convenes as they wait for Jeremy’s hunter’s mark to grow. Damon has escaped from his cell, but he doesn’t want to kill Jeremy anymore because Kol is dead. Stefan comes in with the headstone. They now have everything they need. Oh, and he didn’t stake Rebekah. What? Asks Elena. Damon snidely mentions that Stefan and Rebekah slept together. Elena gets a little upset. But also, glass houses Elena. Damon punches Stefan, but before Stefan can fight back Jeremy screams. His mark is going. And the hunt for the cure is on.
This is coming early. Does that mean the end of the season is going to be about trying to stop Silas from ending the world? Either way, next week we’re off to Nova Scotia.
Catch up on past Vampire Diaries recaps:
Episode 11: Catch Me If You Can
Episode 10: After School Special
Episode 9: O Come All Ye Faithful
Episode 8: We’ll Always Have Bourbon Street
Episode 7: My Brother’s Keeper
Episode 6: We All Go a Little Mad Sometimes
Episode 5: The Killer
Episode 4: The Five
Episode 3: The Rager
Episode 2: Memorial