The Five Worst Characters to Road Trip With

On the Road with Maureen Johnson and Sarah Rees BrennanRoad trips can be fun, but it’s all about who you’re traveling with! If it’s your closest besties jamming out to the radio and nomming Doritos, it’s going to be a blast. If it is any of these characters, not so much.

After you check out our list, check out our chat with two authors we’d love to road trip with: Maureen Johnson and Sarah Rees Brennan. We’re joining them from their epic author tour with Cassandra Clare, and you can come along! This Thursday, March 21, at 7 p.m. ET,  it’s the On The Road live chat.
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arthur weasleyMr. Weasley

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Love him to bits, but he would be the WORST. Every button in the car would be pushed, every attraction would be irresistible. If you passed a sign advertising the world’s largest ball of string, could you imagine the response? “THE largest? That’s remarkable! And without the use of any magic? I supposed the string is tapped together. You know tap, I presume? The clear, sticky, paper Muggles use to hold things together? I remember the first time I purchased tap—”


katniss everdeenKatniss Everdeen

The Hunger Games

She was so tense on that train ride to the capitol. Okay, she was literally riding to her death and okay, her train companions were a drunk who should have been her last hope, her enemy manifest in pink-haired glory, and her competition. But shouldn’t she have at least enjoyed some of the super-delish sounding food? Instead she got all sulky. Who wants to put up with that on a car trip? Also, her idea of stopping for food probably involves grilling roadkill.


edward cullenEdward Cullen

Twilight

Banish all images of cruising down a highway with the top down, wind in your hair, sun on your face. If you’re riding with a Cullen, it means all-tinted windows sealed up tight. Even better? Driving at night. Also, he will never pull-over. Everytime you have to go to the bathroom, he’ll roll his eyes and mutter, “Human.” No one needs that kind of condescension from a forever teenager.


rapunzelRapunzel

Tangled

Sure, the Tangled gal is cute, but remember that montage where she left the castle for the first time? She would be a wreck! Every 30 minutes, she would go through the entire spectrum of emotions and begin again. And you know she’d sing along to every song that came on the radio, but she wouldn’t know any of the words. Worst.


the 11th doctorThe Doctor

Doctor Who

He’s used to traveling faster than light, forward and backward in time. We can’t imagine he’d deal very well with the GPS saying, “You will arrive at your destination in eight hours.” If you can handle constantly thwarting his attempts to manifest the TARDIS inside your mom’s minivan, you should be alright. Out of all the fictional characters on our list, though, he is definitely the most likely to start whining, “Are we there yet?”


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35 thoughts on “The Five Worst Characters to Road Trip With

  1. Edward Cullen… nearly 45% of you guys don’t think he’s the best road-trip buddy? *bear hug* I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!!!!

  2. Oh good gosh, I have to pick between the Doctor and Rapunzel? X^D They would both make terrible road-trip companions… Though I think the Doctor would be worse. *fights back a sudden surge of fanfic vibes*

    • I know! But he would be fidgeting the entire time! Remember The Power of Three episode, I think his head almost exploded!

  3. If whatever great power I had angered stuck me in a blacked out card with a sparkling vampire, one of us would not walk out alive. Probably both of us. I’d end up crashing the car from trying to stake him the whole time.

  4. Obviously some people haven’t seen the DW episode “Midnight.” What would have been a long, boring shuttle bus trip, he made entertaining. Then again, that was before he turned into someone’s imaginary friend….

    • Yeah, they mean the 11th regeneration, I’m sure, hence the picture.
      I’d actually love going on a road trip with him xD He’s adorable. Even if he will begin to insult cars, normal travel, and possibly the Earth and humanity itself as he gets more and more bored. Still adorable.

  5. I just had to put the Doctor, because he’d be fiddling with everything and trying to fix it, and would be so adorable that it’s distracting, and, with him at your side, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you’ll run into hostile aliens almost immediatly. it’s the aliens that did it for me, or otherwise i’d have picked Mr. Weasley. I’d still like to travel with him though 🙂

  6. I could deal with Mr. Weasley’s button-pushing, Rapunzel’s rapid-changing-emotions, Katniss’s uptightness, and even The Doctor’s extremely-likely grumpiness and annoyingness (I mean, hey, the guy’s attractive, a genius, and incredibly fun). But Edward’s “allergy” to the sun and his intense, depressing, moody brooding(though he’s been a lot happier since he married Bella), no way. I could NOT take that.

  7. How about Sherlock? He’ll insult you to your face every few seconds, criticize your driving, he’ll proclaim every roadside attraction “boring,” he’ll refuse to listen to the radio, and he might get so bored that he rolls the window down and starts taking potshots at road signs. He’ll drive waay too fast and if a cop pulls you over, he’ll promptly insult the cop and get you both arrested.

    Or Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice? Imagine hours on end of “Lady Catherine de Bourgh–” every two seconds…*eye starts twitching*

    Or Dory from Finding Nemo? Every five seconds: “So where are we going?”

    No, wait, WORST: Dora the Explorer. Nuff said.

  8. Um, I’m sorry. Why exactly would I NOT want to road-trip with The Doctor? I’m fairly certain being a companion would beat any other life experience EVER, even if he did whine (though I’d probably be whining to, I’m not a very good road tripper).

  9. Anyone else think Ron be a pain in the arse. XD I honestly think I could take Rapunzel more then I could take Weasel I don’t know about the rest of you but Weasley is not my King. . .

  10. I feel like almost any character from Les Miserables would be insufferable on a road trip. For example…

    Jean Valjean: “So…can we stop for some bread? Preferably borrowing some bread? As in, not paying for said bread? Bread can begin a life-changing and self-realizing journey, you know.”

    Javert: “We had better be going to find 24601. I can’t go for more than a day without doubling my efforts to find him. He stole some bread, you know. Honestly, some people just can’t restrict themselves, can they? What is your opinion on talking in third person? Javert finds it quite enjoyable.”

    Marius: “Ooh, we’ve been on the road for five minutes and I ALREADY miss Cosette! She’s so fun, and beautiful, and entertaining, and beautiful…gosh, she’s just the greatest person I’ve ever met! She would be the PERFECT companion for a road trip, we should have invited her! We’ve always had such fun! Have I ever told you about the time we saw each from across the street? No? Well…”

    Cosette: Same as above, only substitute in Marius’s name.

    Eponine: “*sigh* This is nice. You and me in a car. Not just me alone on the street. You know, I’m always on my own, pretending he’s beside me… *begins to speak her song, and then proceedes to freak out as it starts to drizzle*”

    Enjolras: “Do you get the Revolution radio station in this car? I have an overwhelming urge to hear the people sing, don’t you? Just because we’re on a road trip doesn’t mean we can slack off in our plan to change the world! Revolution does not rest!”

    Do you see what I mean?

  11. I think Ten would be a good roadtrip companion, especially if there were tonnes of people piled in the car. Remember the bus trip to the sapphire falls? As long as we don’t get infiltrated by a creepy-as-heck, copy-catting alien like last time, he’d probably be a hoot. But Eleven? Heck no.
    I voted Edward because I’d be scared the whole time that he only brought me along as a snack.

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