Road trips can be fun, but it’s all about who you’re traveling with! If it’s your closest besties jamming out to the radio and nomming Doritos, it’s going to be a blast. If it is any of these characters, not so much.
After you check out our list, check out our chat with two authors we’d love to road trip with: Maureen Johnson and Sarah Rees Brennan. We’re joining them from their epic author tour with Cassandra Clare, and you can come along! This Thursday, March 21, at 7 p.m. ET, it’s the On The Road live chat.
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Love him to bits, but he would be the WORST. Every button in the car would be pushed, every attraction would be irresistible. If you passed a sign advertising the world’s largest ball of string, could you imagine the response? “THE largest? That’s remarkable! And without the use of any magic? I supposed the string is tapped together. You know tap, I presume? The clear, sticky, paper Muggles use to hold things together? I remember the first time I purchased tap—”
She was so tense on that train ride to the capitol. Okay, she was literally riding to her death and okay, her train companions were a drunk who should have been her last hope, her enemy manifest in pink-haired glory, and her competition. But shouldn’t she have at least enjoyed some of the super-delish sounding food? Instead she got all sulky. Who wants to put up with that on a car trip? Also, her idea of stopping for food probably involves grilling roadkill.
Banish all images of cruising down a highway with the top down, wind in your hair, sun on your face. If you’re riding with a Cullen, it means all-tinted windows sealed up tight. Even better? Driving at night. Also, he will never pull-over. Everytime you have to go to the bathroom, he’ll roll his eyes and mutter, “Human.” No one needs that kind of condescension from a forever teenager.
Sure, the Tangled gal is cute, but remember that montage where she left the castle for the first time? She would be a wreck! Every 30 minutes, she would go through the entire spectrum of emotions and begin again. And you know she’d sing along to every song that came on the radio, but she wouldn’t know any of the words. Worst.
He’s used to traveling faster than light, forward and backward in time. We can’t imagine he’d deal very well with the GPS saying, “You will arrive at your destination in eight hours.” If you can handle constantly thwarting his attempts to manifest the TARDIS inside your mom’s minivan, you should be alright. Out of all the fictional characters on our list, though, he is definitely the most likely to start whining, “Are we there yet?”
Vote for your favorite worst road-trip companion below! And tell us in the comments if we forgot someone!