The Vampire Diaries Recap: The Walking Dead

“Remember this emotion. REMEMBER this emotion. Think of how to use it, use it on the stage. Think of Katherine Hepburn…” Ok wait, I’m done, I’ll stop quoting Fame: The Musical and get to this recap. My notes had tons of “HAHAHAHA”’s but my eyes had tons of tears, hence me needing to remember the emotion where I’m simultaneously hysterical in both ways.

Vampire Diaries RecapBut also… lame… so lame… let’s also say that. Unless it’s not over (and I missed the trailer, curses DVR), what a lame way to see Silas go. But we begin away from Silas with Elena crushing blocks and working out to try to channel her hate of Katherine into something else (spoiler alert: It obvs doesn’t work).

Next, Elena’s off to stamp graduation announcements with Caroline. Given the fact that we’ve seen everyone Elena loves and cherishes die while she was helpless to stop it, she really only has one letter to write (Caroline has, predictably, a billion). She’s also not apologizing to Caroline, because if she lets in the emotion of feeling bad, she’ll have to let in all the emotions of feeling the most depressed in the world. She’s also, not friends with Rebekah any more (womp womp womp, my fan fiction is ruined).

Meanwhile in boring yet now important Bonnie world, she’s trying to charge all three points of the expression triangle so she can take down the veil, but just a little bit. Guys, it’s so late, I’m so tired, this idea is so weirdly ridiculous. The best part of this scene though is when Bonnie has to tie Katherine to her, like with fake magical string. It reminded me of when my tennis coach tied me to my doubles partner to teach us about communicating. I promise, this is not a weird confession, just like, a trick she used to teach us volleying. Also, this whole scene made me think we’d see Qetsiyah soon, because Bonnie says she needs her to help find a way to defeat Silas. Another spoiler: she never comes (finale??)

Stefan and Damon are called on to help the Sheriff Forbes (who, I’m still glad is alive). Silas has been almost draining a bunch of people in the hospital of their blood. All I can say is, dude left A LOT of blood. Getting sloppy.

So at about the 10 minute mark, after Bonnie’s been going to the hotspots, she says she drops the veil and we know we’re in for like, a ton of people returning! She takes the tombstone from Katherine and makes it start bleeding (Gross!). It’s done. The veil is down, but just within the triangle.

Everyone converges on the school (which is the center of these three hotspots and, you know, this all feels a lot like the whole Hellmouth thing from Buffy.  Stefan gives one of my favorite lines when he appears SO CONFUSED that ice in a freezer is melting. I mean, come on! But the melting ice makes him look at a drain and realize that Bonnie is probably underground.

Elena is still trying to kill Katherine, so Damon tells her to wait upstairs, they need to focus on keeping her from letting the emotional floodgates open. Bah-bam she STABS him. HAHAHAHA! All over my notes. Good thing ALARIC is there to help him. I mean, did I cry just at the sight of him? Some things are just for my dream journal. But yeah, first new guy.

Vampire Diaries RecapVampire Diaries RecapBut of course, with good people returning, people who want people dead return too and that means Kol is back. Hooray! He is adorable. Boo! He wants to kill Elena (I mean, Jeremy’s already dead, so next best thing?).

Vampire Diaries RecapKatherine gets nervous that someone seems to be around the corner trying to stop Bonnie from talking to Qetsiyah and stopping Silas/making Katherine immortal. Bonnie lengthens the imaginary string connecting the two and Katherine runs off to stop who she thinks is Silas. JK, it’s Elena who is in killer mode. That mode includes burning Katherine’s face and stabbing her. Too bad that means Bonnie gets hurt too. So even though Elena has the upper hand and almost gets a chance to kill Katherine, Stefan runs in just in time to stop her because if Katherine dies Bonnie dies (this all seems rather useless given what happens at the end of the episode).

Vampire Diaries REcapWhen Kol came back, he went to see Rebekah at the grill first and threw a broken bottle at Matt. When Rebekah goes to get a first aid kit we see the worst scene for beautiful Caroline. She’s cutting herself and saying she has to bleed. But wait!!! We’ve been seeing Caroline in scenes with the whole gang at the school… or have we?

Nope, the answer is we haven’t. It was Silas. So now we get the best scene for Caroline (and Stefan… as actors I mean) where they tag team tell Bonnie that she’s not stronger than him and will not be able to defeat him.

Vampire Diaries RecapStefan and Elena have an emotional scene where he tells her there are no shortcuts for vampires and to be a vampire is to know loss. She slaps him. Also, to break Caroline of her trance that Silas put her under, Rebekah slaps her. THEME!

Silas, as Alaric now, starts to make Bonnie choke and walks away. Bonnie doesn’t want to lift the veil completely. But  Grams shows up just in time to help her realize it’s all an illusion. She can actually breathe. Grams also says that Bonnie is strong enough to take Silas.

Elena ends up at Jeremy’s grave and tells him that it might make her weak, but she just can’t let go. Just as we’re really invested in this emotional scene, Kol shows up, looking to kill. Elena tells Kol to just kill her, put her out of her misery. And he almost does but then… Ok, and I saw this coming a mile away and it still killed me… Jeremy shows up to stop him! Kol goes to kill Jeremy, but then STEFAN runs up and snaps his neck. I jumped with excitement (sorry, roommates).

Vampire Diaries RecapOk this next part I’m gonna bill, lamest ending to a character who’s supposed to be a badass so I really hope it isn’t the actual ending cuz that’d be lame. Bonnie decides to be strong and goes after Silas (who is now Alaric). Damon sees Alaric and like, is smart and instantly knows it’s Silas. Bonnie turns Silas into stone. End. Like really, that’s it. We never get to know what Silas really looked like. LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME. Also, waaaayyyyyyy too easy. They’re gonna go dump his body in the Ocean (I mean, can’t blood technically get to you even if you’re at the bottom of the ocean. Like, whale blood? Would that work?)

So Caroline and Stefan are drinking to celebrate Silas’ demise, but Stefan is bummed that his buddy didn’t come back when the veil was lifted. JK, Lexi’s there and she’s adorable. She tells Stefan to get the hint when he tells her that Elena slapped him. She also alludes that she’d be down for Stefan getting with Caroline. NO NO NO NO!

Alaric hands Damon the cure and tells him to go get the girl.

Vampire Diaries RecapWe don’t see that much of Jeremy and Elena’s emotional goodbye and… that’s probably because… he’s back? Right?? So Bonnie goes crazy, even after Grams tells her not to, and tries to bring just Jeremy back. Except, cut to Rebekah who sees her old boyfriend Alexander. And also all the other vampire hunters. Then cut to Bonnie, looking at herself dead on the ground and saying “I’m dead.” End of episode. Terrific. What? HAHAHAHAHAHA (sobs).

End. See you next week for the finale

Catch up on past Vampire Diaries recaps:

Episode 21: She’s Come Undone

Episode 20: The Originals

Episode 19: Pictures of You

Episode 18: American Gothic

Episode 17: Because the Night

Episode 16: Bring It On

Episode 15: Stand By Me

Episode 14: Down the Rabbit Hole

Episode 13: Into the Wild

Episode 12: A View to Kill

Episode 11: Catch Me If You Can

Episode 10: After School Special

Episode 9: O Come All Ye Faithful

Episode 8: We’ll Always Have Bourbon Street

Episode 7: My Brother’s Keeper

Episode 6: We All Go a Little Mad Sometimes

Episode 5: The Killer

Episode 4: The Five

Episode 3: The Rager

Episode 2: Memorial

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