Dream Summer Jobs

lifeguard towerIf you’re going to work a summer job, why settle for a run-of-the-mill profession? Here are some unparalleled ways to bring in that cheddar over summer break. Your friend who loves to brag about earning tips at the local diner undoubtedly will envy you.

Be an Astronaut


I’m not talking Space Camp. Be an astronaut. There must be a fast-track way to be cleared for space travel, right? Do some research and figure out how you can be zipping off to the moon by July. Fairly certain the most crucial part of becoming an astronaut is developing a refined enough palate to appreciate a glass of Tang. You’ve got this.

Test Cupcakes

cupcakes in display counter

Does this job exist? I don’t know. But it should. And it should be yours. No one goes to a bakery hoping to bring home a mediocre cupcake. That’s where you come in! The baker makes 13 cupcakes (in true “baker’s dozen” form) and you must test the 13th. Because, obviously, you need to make sure it is worthy of consumption. You provide an objective evaluation that the bakers behind the cupcakes cannot. If it passes your stringent guidelines, the other cupcakes will make it to the pastry case. If not, they’re as good as dust.

Develop Names for Nail Polish Colors

nail polish

Even if you don’t care about makeup, try to tell me it would not be incredible to get paid to brainstorm the genius monikers that end up on the bottom of polish bottles. You’d be like Peggy Olson if Peggy Olson was obsessed with plays on words and Pantone swatches.  The art of the clever nail lacquer name is one of the best things about the cosmetics industry, and you’ll be oh-so ready to take credit for the punny name of your friend’s new favorite nail polish!

Play With Puppies & Kittens

cute puppies

Rather than working at a pet store, volunteering at a shelter, or watching your neighbor’s dog while she’s on vacation, why not earn moolah by simply hanging out with adorable animals all day? You wouldn’t have to worry about cleaning, walking or feeding them; traditional responsibilities will be delegated to someone else. You will be contracted by various shelters and pet stores to keep the furry charges in good spirits. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t want to be paid to hold animals all day.

Be a Consultant for the Sims 4


Maxis announced that the Sims 4 will launch in 2014. A summer contributing to the development of one of the more successful computer game franchises of all-time would be a summer well-spent. How many nights have you spent awake wishing your Sims could learn to walk around furniture instead of repeatedly running into it? You can help solve this issue. Discuss virtual Simoleons and earn real-life Simoleons. Warning: it’ll be difficult to go back to class in the fall and not speak in Simlish.

Be Jennifer Lawrence

Jennifer Lawrence

Wouldn’t that be awesome? You’d get to be THE lady of the year. Your responsibilities would include photo shoots, interviews, and being THE BEST. I’m sure the real Jennifer Lawrence could use a vacation, so she’ll appreciate the Freaky Friday-esque body swap, probably.


Venice Beach by Adrian104; Astronaut courtesy of NASA, cupcakes by Evan-Amos, nail polish by Artbeauty; puppies by Karthikeya12; Sims logo courtesy of Electronic Arts, Inc.; Jennifer Lawrence by Tom Sorensen.

12 thoughts on “Dream Summer Jobs

  1. If I were to test cupcakes, I’d lie to the baker that they were awful and then ‘take them to the trash’. Yeah, that’s right! I WOULD EAT THEM!!!!

  2. Bacon? I could have sworn I read bacon, but alas! I’ve turned up empty handed. Now I must continue my search for bacon elsewhere. That should be a job! Bacon Finder!

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