Summer school can be such a drag. It’s your break! And you’re in a classroom! The local swimming pool is incomplete without your cannonball jumps! If you want to breeze through bummer school, test out any of the following options.
Send In a Robo-Doppelganger
Assemble a robot that looks, talks and acts like you. And program it to take your place in class. It’ll process the daily lessons and produce summaries and study guides for your benefit. Hey, if you pull this off, you don’t need no stinkin’ summer school! A note-taking, class-participating automaton would be incredibly impressive.
Use a Time Machine
Can you buy one on Craigslist? Or at Sharper Image? I’m sure Brookstone carries at least one model. If you can’t find one, build one. And then use it to skip the hours spent stuck at a desk. However, be careful to not go overboard with the time traveling. Leave it to the experts (i.e., The Doctor).
Tamper With the Classroom Clock
Build a clock that runs 4x the speed of a real clock. Here’s how: Buy a timepiece that looks exactly like the classroom clock, disassemble it, switch around the cogs and gears, shake it vigorously and hope it works. And cross your fingers that your teacher doesn’t check his watch/phone or sense something has gone amiss. If you pull it off, you’ll be out of that classroom by lunch time.
Ask Your Teacher to Hold Class Elsewhere
If you must spend the summertime learning, politely suggest to your teacher that you move class to a more exciting location. A permanent field trip! Because you will spend your days studying at a bowling alley/baseball field/shopping mall/amusement park/community pool, it’ll seem like summer school concluded as soon as it began. Not sure how much learning will be accomplished, but you’ll have a good time! And that’s all that matters, right?
Hire a Squad of Airplanes to Tow the School
The hardest part will be procuring enough planes to uproot the school. And it’ll be tricky to convince a sufficient number of pilots to take part. But once you do, hook up the building to all of the airplane tails. It is imperative that you use durable cables and hot glue for reinforcement. Ensure everything is in place the night before. Then, before everyone gets to class the next morning (quadruple check that no one is in the building. Can’t stress this step enough.), clear the planes for takeoff. As summer school students and teachers arrive, they will see the airborne building. Aaaand summer school will literally fly by.