Six Jerks Who Will Win Your Heart

Unbreakable by Elizabeth NorrisJanelle Tenner isn’t sure she trusts Intraverse Agent Taylor Barclay. There’s something about him that just rubs her the wrong way. But he’s got startling information about Janelle’s boyfriend, Ben. And if Janelle wants to save Ben, she’s going to have to team up with Barclay. But she doesn’t have to like it.

Janelle and Barclay’s witty banter helps to propel readers through Elizabeth Norris’ fast-paced novel, Unbreakable. Barclay fits perfectly into one of favorite character categories: Jerk with a heart of gold . . .

They’re arrogant. They’re snarky. They’re—

So. Dang. Adorable.

Check out our top six jerks below, and then vote for your favorite. Did we miss someone? Leave us a note in the comments!


 

Flynn from "Tangled"Flynn Rider

Tangled

Yes, he’s a thief. But Flynn Rider has a heart more gold than Rapunzel’s hair (prettyfreakinggold,guys). He learns the value of love and friendship and at the end of the movie, he’s a changed man. But we knew he was a good egg at the get-go.

 


 

Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the CaribbeanJack Sparrow

Pirates of the Caribbean

Jack Sparrow: bringing sexy pirates back since 2003. He tries to make people think he’s ruthless and self-centered, but his mushy center is constantly oozing out and fooling no one.

 


 

Doctor Gregory House

House M.D.

We would never wish to be sick. That’s a horrible thing to say. But if we *were* sick and if we *had* to visit a doctor, it would be House. He can be as prickly and snarky as he wants, since he’s a raving genius.

 


 

Mai from the Last AirbenderMai

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Mai seems cold and calculating, a lackey of the big bad Princess Azula. Turns out her monotone voice is hiding a loving soul. She risks her life to turn on Azula and defend her love, Zuko.

 


 

Mr. Potato Head from Toy StoryMr. Potato Head

Toy Story

He’s pig-headed. Spud-headed? He’s aggressive and a little weak-kneed. But he steps up for Andy and Woody. And when he meets his Mrs. Potato Head? Forget about it. He’d do anything to defend his woman.

 


 

Mr. Darcy from Pride and PrejudiceMr. Darcy

Pride and Prejudice

He’s the prejudice, right? Or is he the pride? Either way, he’s handsome and rich, but before Elizabeth comes along, he’s snobbish and stand-offish. But then romanceromanceromance, error of his ways, he’s a changed man! Cue mass swooning.

 


 

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135 thoughts on “Six Jerks Who Will Win Your Heart

  1. I can’t believe I have to choose between them all…It’s next to impossible….I eeny-meenyed and got flynn.

  2. Only one female character on the list? For shame, Figment editors – let’s see some balanced representation!

    • I tried! I blame society! They give the good, jerky parts to men! Female characters never get to be arrogant, even when they are brilliant. They have to be brilliant AND modest. It’s nonsense.

      • That is why I’m a writer! I have a brilliant, but very vain character. She’d fit in nicely on this list…

        • I’m a female, and a bunch of my friends say that I’m the most egotistical person they know! Just for that, I’m going to write a story with a female jerk for a heroine! Go female jerks! *high fives female jerks*

          • I’m awful and I freely admit it. I’m sarcastic, stubborn, a know-it-all, the lord Mayor of put downs, both aloof and show-off and I can even be a little anal when I feel that way… And guess what, kids? I’m a girl.

          • How about Regina Mills from OUAT? You sometimes find yourself liking her…even if she is…her.

  3. “Which Jerk do You the Most?”

    Uhmmm… I think you’re missing a word on the little quiz part. 🙂

  4. what about damon from vampire diaries? or barney from how i met you mother? or patch from hush hush? xD

  5. I’d just like to point out, Mai loves Zuko, not Zucko. Zucko sounds like one of the Marx brothers.

    Also, in response the the comment on a lack of female characters who fit this archetype, I’m pretty sure this fits April Ludgate from Parks and Rec to a tee.

  6. Did y’all SERIOUSLY just spell Zuko’s name wrong??? And wasn’t he more jerkish than Mai anyways?? I really don’t get why she’s on this list. But, yeah, in my opinion Darcy wins the day, as usual…

      • I know! You can’t have a contest like this without Sherlock! Gosh, I absolutely love him. (I think that I enjoy the British tv show Sherlock more than the movies with Robert Downey Jr.)

        But, to be honest, if both Sherlock and Tony Stark were listed, you would have to let me pick multiple. They are both so witty it’s crazy!!

    • OHMIZEUS EXACTLY! What is wrong with this world when Jace is forgotten.

      *enter Jace with sarcastic comment on his awesomeness*

      • “I don’t want to be a man,” said Jace. “I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can’t confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead.”
        “Well,” said Luke, “you’re doing a fantastic job.”

        Good enough? 😉

      • oh, and don’t forget:

        “Not everything is about you,” Clary said furiously.
        “Possibly,” Jace said, “but you do have to admit that the majority of things are.”

        for the extra jerkishness 😉

  7. Sherlock Holmes!!!! I know many other people have said this as well, but I can’t believe he’s not on here. Famous, arrogant, a giant jerk a lot of the time, and yet he’s incredibly lovable somehow. Whether it’s Benedict Cumberbatch, Robert Downey Jr., or Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s literary original, he’s perfect for this list.

  8. Oh, Darcy. I was all set to pick Hugh Laurie and his beautiful, snarky doctor face – but Fitzie has always been my north star, my one true, etc. (The movie Lost In Austen completely ruined me – because now I am convinced that I, too, will find a magic doorway in my tiny apartment and be whisked away into Darcy’s arms and hate him and love him and make him wade into a lake for me and – ahem. Well. Anyways.)

    Also even though I generally dislike fan fiction (yes, yes) and Glee (after the first season) I think the fan fiction “Little Numbers” is quite possibly the most snarkily adorable thing I’ve ever read ever. And all the other nonbelievers I know agree. It ruins yuu, man. It ruins.

  9. I cannot BELIEVE I have the neve to point out errors in a figment article. But…

    I think it should be- Jack Sparrow: bring(ing) sexy pirates back…

    Also, “Zucko”, should be spelled “Zuko.”

    Just thought I’d let you know…

  10. 1. Sherlock just needs to be on here.
    2. You used the wrong Mr. Darcy picture!!! IF IT’S NOT COLIN FIRTH, IT’S NOT ACTUALLY MR. DARCY. Get it right.
    3. I was going to go Mai, but then Darcy, but then wrong picture… I can’t decide now!!! >.<

  11. I‘m having trouble deciding between Sherlock Holmes and House.They are both so similar,snark-wise

    • House is based on Sherlock, that’s where they created the character from. It made me love both more, looking for similarities, like John Watson and James Wilson (get it?).

  12. This is impossible. How can I choose between Dr. House, Jack Sparrow, and Mr. Darcy?!?

    That being said, William Herondale from the Infernal Devices should be on this list. Just saying.

  13. You are making me choose between Mr. Darcy, Jack Sparrow, and Flynn Ryder??? Impossible! (It would have been even more impossible had you added Sherlock Holmes! ;))

  14. I can’t believe I had to choose between Captain Jack Sparrow and Mr. Darcy…but I’m going to have to go with the latter. I like Mr. Darcy’s story better than Captain Sparrow’s. 🙂

  15. Sheesh…Flynn, House, and Darcy all make wonderful candidates. Jack is too loveable and not jerky enough, I feel, to really qualify on the list, although I ADORE him…

    Also, Draco Malfoy should have been DOMINATING this list 😛

    Thank you for the MacFayden Darcy, btw–he is truly wonderful 🙂

  16. Since you guys love The Hunger Games so much, I’m surprised you left out Haymitch.
    Anyway, none of these characters are jerks with hearts of gold that I’m particularly fond of—most of them aren’t even from things I’ve seen. Of course, most of my favorites are from things most people probably haven’t heard of…

  17. Sorry, I know a lot of people don’t watch this show but I just have to say it.

    PATRICK JANE FROM THE MENTALIST SHOULD BE ON THIS LIST!!!!!

  18. Barney Stinson and Sherlock Holmes should totally be on this list. Although, I must admit that would make it much harder to decide.

  19. I would agree this list isn’t finished, it’s missing two characters, them being Sherlock from the BBC show and Jace Wayland from Mortal Instruments.

  20. WHAT ABOUT LOKI?????????????? HE NEEDS TO BE ON HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!

    • Loki does not have a heart of gold. Loki will stab you in the back to achieve his own ends. He’s an angry child who can’t fit in with either of his families, and he takes it out on everyone, even the people who try to care for him. He is a jerk, played by an ACTOR with a heart of gold.

  21. Flynn is definitely my fave because I want to be just like Rapunzel. She is my favorite princess. Nuf said. 😀

  22. What about Prince Arthur?????? He’s a completely and total jerk, yet he has the biggest group fan girls of all the characters on the show.

    • From Merlin? If it is from Merlin, he ended up being not too shabby, though he does have this weird brotherly jerk thing going with Merlin.

  23. Oh-my-gosh. I have to choose between (Captain) Jack Sparrow, House, AND Mr. Darcy. This is cruel. I just don’t know.

  24. How could I not choose Flynn Rider when he’s voiced by Zachary Levi??? Not to mention the fact that his real names Eugene Fitzherbert. Gesundheit. And did I mention that his voice actor is Zach Levi?

  25. You know how manny people are wanting Sherlock from Sherlock? Just NEEDS!
    also Loki, though i’m only the second to say this Loki is… words canot describe.

  26. Read all the comments, haven’t seen him yet so just throwing it out there: Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang theory. Biggest jerk who could offend you without your understanding, though sometimes, he means well 😉

  27. It should be CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow! You discrace your family! You do not deserve to say his name… :0 Lol

  28. How could you forget Mr.Rochester, and Snape? What about Jace and Will Herondale? Draco Malfoy? And as for female characters, what about Estella from Great Expectations?

  29. And what about Celeana from Throne of Glass? She should be on here!
    …. I know (and love) far too many jerks-with-hearts-of-gold characters

  30. I was hoping Squall Leonhart would be the list… That was a little optimistic of me 😛 (Darn you Final Fantasy and your lack of American followings!)

  31. Ahhhhhh! This was soooooo hard! you guys are making me choose between Darcy, Flynn, and Mr. Potatoe head! But I gotta say, Darcy takes the cake 😀

  32. Okay, why do you have to make this an impossible choice? I let my brother choose. Mr. Potato Head! (BTW, forgot Tony Stark.)

  33. Okay, why do you have to make this an impossible choice? I was leaning towards CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, but eventually I let my brother choose. Mr. Potato Head! (BTW, forgot Tony Stark.)

  34. I agree with a few people who have said that there’s an uneven representation of women. I know PLENTY of jerkish female characters. ((I’m looking at you, Katniss))

  35. Tony Stark from Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr, seriously, I can’t believe he’s not here)

    Sherlock (whichever version, but I LOVE Benedict Cumberbatch in the BBC one)

    William Herondale from the Infernal Devices

    Patch from Hush Hush

    Patrick Jane from the Mentalist

    Derek Hale and Jackson Whittemore from Teen Wolf

    Damon Salvatore from Vampire Diaries

    Just some of the people who SO should have been on this list

    • I thought the same thing about Tony Stark. Especially with Iron Man 3 just out. If that wasn’t a major change in character, there has never been one.

  36. Azula: “I never expected this from you. The thing I don’t understand is why? Why would you do it? You know the consequences…”

    Mai: “I guess you just don’t know people as well as you think you do. You miscalculated. I love Zuko… more than I fear you.”

    Gotta vote for Mai. 😉 She’s freaking awesome.

  37. SOOO glad Mr. Darcy was on this list.. Reading 1-5 I was starting to worry!! Haha, but Castle from Castle should definitely be on there too…

  38. “prettyfreakinggold, guys”. Haha, love the description of Flynn Rider’s heart of gold. ; )
    Speaking of Gold, Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon A Time should’ve been added to this list. Definitely a fascinating jerk with a “Mr. Gold” heart hidden inside.

  39. How about Sherlock? Or maybe (dare I suggest it?) Moriarty..? There’s also Mycroft, and Arthur from Merlin, there’s the Master from Doctor Who as well! (I’ll leave it at The Master..cos there are SO MANY other adorable arrogant people in Doctor Who {sometimes including the Doctor himself..})

  40. I just has to choose Mr. Darcy………. It was a hard pick though, Flynn and Jack Sparrow, I would have picked those too………. But I love Mr. Darcy

  41. What about Sherlock, Tony Stark and Peter from Divergent!!
    I was gonna give my vote to Flynn, but my love has always been for MR. Potato Head!! ;D

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