Orphans, secrets, assorted vampires: a (pretend) book trailer

Recently, some crazy, out-of-this-world stuff has been going on at the Figment offices. In addition to the usual flurry of pens, pages, and keyboards, the collective hivemind that is the Figment admin team has been secretly preparing for our most ridiculously impossible project ever: Figment. The Book.

The recipe?

  • 1 unsuspecting orphan
  • 1 mysterious romantic interest
  • 1 ancient prophecy
  • A few explosions
  • Assorted vampires, psychics, and time travelers

Mix well, add plot twist, and sprinkle with minor, two-dimensional characters.

The result? Well… we’re still working on the actual novel, but we did manage to cook up this splendid book trailer. See for yourself!

Instant bestseller.

34 thoughts on “Orphans, secrets, assorted vampires: a (pretend) book trailer

  1. HAHAHAHA. This is sooo funny.
    “I thought you said my parents were killed in a car crash!”
    “They were. By Vampires.”
    Was that supposed to be Twipotter? Or is it just me….

    But I want to read this book. Now. Or maybe after I eat my gelato.

  2. That was boss. XD The Twilight-ness, I wasn’t sure about, but it just added to be funny. It would be awesome, too, if Voldemort suddenly came out of nowhere WITH a nose….O.O

  3. You just put so many spoilers in the trailer…the guy’s her brother, her parents were killed in a car crash…by vampires

  4. I think part of my brain just died after watching that.
    Goodbye, cerebral cortex. We’ll all miss your higher thinking capabilities.

  5. The day this kind of cheesy lame trash becomes a bestseller is the day I lose app faith in humanity. LOL, no offense, Figment mods, but that was terrible.
    Just like it seems it was meant to be.

    …Did anyone else spot the word “hydrockatoos”? 😉

  6. “Here’s your meal, miss.”

    girl screams dramatically:

    hahaha… I will definitely read this book, but there are slim chances of me taking it seriously. 🙂

  7. This is hilarious! I was literally laughing SO hard I couldn’t stop!
    (for anyone who watched Jackson pierce, I DO mean literally)

  8. Dude, that was epic…and a little strange. Scratch that, a LOT of strange there. I think I even saw “mild salsa” at the end. Along with “Harry Potter!” which clues me in to why they included the whole parents died in car crash thingy. But seriously, mild salsa? Hydrocatoos? (J:-*

  9. Umm… The whole premise of the book seems a little bit un-original. If it were a comedic book, yeah, it’s perfect, but if you’re actually going to sell it as a serious novel, then it wouldn’t work.

    The commercial was moderately funny, but the animation could use some work. It made me puke in my mouth a little bit (btw, I’m studying illustration). Just my opinion.

    • We mentioned in the post that it’s not actually a book. We made it for fun; it’s not meant to be taken seriously 🙂

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