So everyone who’s anyone knows that A Game of Thrones is what’s bringing all the boys to the yard. And all the Tyrion Lannister groupies. It’s the first book in an epic fantasy novel series called A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin. Keep in mind that when I say epic, I mean EPIC. So epic that it has its own TV series on HBO. So epic that it blows sliced bread right out of the water. It’s one of my favorite book series of all time–I think it should get some major points just for that.
Trouble is brewing in King’s Landing, the site of the iron throne. Forces from inside are at work and things start to get really sinister. It seems like everyone and their mother wants to gain world domination. One thing’s for sure: they’ll stop at nothing to get it, even if it means a war that will bring in all the houses of Westeros and the Targaryen family. Prepare to encounter dragons, an obnoxious boy king, sorcerers, and the undead. I know you’re probably thinking that this sounds totally crazy and awesome at the same time.
It is. It is all that and a bag of kettle-cooked chips. Clear your calendars and cancel that lunch with Mom. You’ll need enough time on your hands to get sucked in to one of the most epic novels ever (let’s play a game and call it “how many times the word EPIC is used in this post”). Now let’s go to our handy-dandy point system and see how AGoT fares.
+178 points for a totally awesome way of dividing up the chapters.
George R.R. Martin (for the sake of efficiency and stuff, I’m going to call him GRRM from now on) basically writes the story through the point of view of some of the most important characters and the events are happening simultaneously. This gives you a chance to fall in love (or hate) the characters. HUZZAH!
+212 points for having Sean Bean as one of the main characters in the TV series.
GAME OF THRONES AND LORD OF THE RINGS CROSSOVER?!?! Say no more, I am in there like swimwear. One does not simply read A Game of Thrones (one watches it too!).
-301 points for killing off characters that you worked long and hard to form a bond with.
GRRM is ruthless. He’s nothing like J.K. Rowling, who feels sympathy whenever she kills off a character. Give these people a break, George! I made mental plans to go out for tea and crumpets with some of these guys and I don’t do that with just anyone and then you kill them! Talk about selfish.
+999 points for having dragons. DRAGONS!
Who doesn’t love dragons? They can fly, breathe fire, and MAIM ALL YOUR ENEMIES!!! Whoa, sorry. Had a bit of a crazy moment there. Okay, it’s gone. Anyway, did you notice that I wrote dragons? PLURAL! I would have been happy with just one dragon, really. GRRM, you spoil me.
+215 for super cool and amazing action scenes.
Need I say more?
+170 for direwolves.
If you have never considered having a direwolf as a pet, you may want to consider it after reading this book. They are the best bodyguards ever. Ever.
So the grand total is going to be . . . a whopping 1,473 points. What up! Okay, so I may have gotten a little points-happy with the dragons . . . but it’s DRAGONS! Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same. You’re shaking your head in agreement, I can tell. Anyhoo, what are you waiting for?! Go pick up the book ASAP if you haven’t already! Tell the world about it! Print out this page and put it in your scrapbook! Then let us know what your thoughts were on the book. It doesn’t have to be in that order.
Side note: the word epic was used seven times. Go me.