Angel SHOWDOWN

We love Willow, the half-angel from L.A. Weatherly’s Angel Burn. And from the first few pages of the sequel, Angel Fire (which you can start reading on Figment), it’s clear we’re going to like Seb, too. Maybe *too* much. In Angel Burn, we met Willow, a super kick-ass half-angel with the ability to sense lies–who has the added benefit of not being crazy-evil like most of the other angels on Earth. She’s in maduberlove with Alex, who was part of a team of angel hunters tasked with killing Willow. But now she’s met Seb, who might be the only other half-angel on Earth–he understands Willow like no one else…

When it comes to choosing the right man for the job of guardian angel, there are a lot of qualified applicants. Let’s look at each candidate based on his strong suits:

Funniest: Al (Angels in the Outfield)
Al would make a killer guardian angel. Want to watch your enemy chase around a floating dollar bill, growing more and more desperate, unaware of the fact that there’s an angel holding it just out of his reach? Al’s your guy. Also, you could make Back to the Future jokes together.

 

 

Scurriest: Bartleby and Loki (Dogma)
HOLY crap. When Bartleby gets kicked out of heaven, he’ll do anything to return. We’re talking mass slaughter, blood-of-the-innocents-esque carnage. He even allows his wings to be shot down to bloody NUBS in the name of unholy revenge.  If I ever saw Matt Damon and Ben Affleck at a costume party wearing wings? I’d run in the otherfreakingdirection.

 

 

Most human: Castiel (Supernatural)
You might be thinking Castiel is the hardest, baddest mother-kicker this side of apocalypse. And this is true. But through his unwavering devotion, he must doubt and grow. He is insecure and odd, but he is loyal to his friends (in his own insecure, odd way).

 

 

Most Tragical: Joe Black (Meet Joe Black)
I’m crying just writing this. When the Angel of Death takes on a human form to get a chance to live as a human, he doesn’t take into account the all-too-human burden of emotions. And when he meets a girl . . . And plus it’s Brad Pitt! And he doesn’t understand things like eating! And you just want to cry buckets and be like, “BRAD PITT IT WILL BE OKAY!” but it WON’T be okay.

 

Most hands-on-useful: Leo (Charmed)
He can heal all demonic wounds and change a lightbulb. I remember when I first found out that the hunky handy-man who had been fixing up the Halliwell house was a guardian angel (a.k.a. “Whitelighter”) and I thought, “Well, THAT’S useful.” His nifty teleportation skills more than make up for his de-winged state, despite the fact that they’re accompanied by cheesy “Beam me up, Scotty”-style graphics.

 
 
 

Hunkiest: Angel (from Buffy the Vampire slayer)
OKAY. I’m cheating. I know he’s a vampire, not a real angel. But, he’s Angel! I just want to take his poor little tormented face and sqmush it up and sing him a lullabye and read him a book and feed him a cookie and love him forever.

 
 

You decide: Which angel would you want to guard you?

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4 thoughts on “Angel SHOWDOWN

  1. OHGODOHGODOHGOD.

    I CAN’T CHOOSE.

    I friggin’ love Cas but at the same time, dude, it’s Angel.

    Well, I mean, if TECHNICALLY Angel’s cheating ’cause he’s a vampire…

    How about Gabriel, from Supernatural, huh? I mean, I know he’s dead and all, BUT HE STILL COUNTS. Yeah, I’ll keep him around for laughs. How ’bout that?

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