Season 3, Episode 17, “Dance With Somebody”
If you’re like, why is Artie so blonde and Quinn-looking, you should check out last week’s Gleecap.
This Whitney Houston episode was stellar, so strap in. It opened with an all-vocal performance of “How Will I Know”, inspired by the recently-viral vocal track.
In a plot twist I like to call “Welcome to OhButOfCourse,” Joe and Quinn get all duety and then almost kiss. When he pulls away at the last second, Quinn thinks he’s repulsed by her wheelchairness, saying, “He’s not into me. Who would be?” Um, Puck? Finn? Sam? Like all of the boys that were ever on the show? Joe’s scared by his attraction to her and sees it as a weakness that threatens his spirituality. This leads to a lot of smolder.
When Joe goes to Sam for advice on suppressing his sexual desire, the following exchange occurs.
Joe: “How did you handle your… feelings?”
Sam: “Here’s the thing–I can super helpful, but when you ask me stuff you have to be real specific.”
Trouble in Klainidise–Kurt meets his mini-me and is caught up in a whirlwind text-a-thon. Blaine finds out and accuses him of cheating. Kurt reminds Blaine that he wasn’t cheating, and that he feels like Blaine has been distant recently. In the worst song lead-in ever, Blaine says, “It’s not right . . . but it’s okay.” Then he sings “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay” with about the weirdest staging ever. Like, Darren Criss could sing me the periodic table, and I would enjoy it. But that staging was weird.
I get that it is an homage to the original music video. But that was the 90s. Things were different then.
Blaine admits that he’s pulling away because he needs to protect himself from the inevitable heartbreak of next year without Kurt, the love of his life. If you don’t watch a single scene of Glee for the rest of the year, watch Emma try to help Blaine and Kurt work out their relationship. It goes from laughs to tears in a single moment and it was the highlight of a great episode.
Blaine: “Stop slipping bronzer into my moisturizer.”
Kurt: “You look good with a little color.”
Blaine: “I only use lotion on my hands. It looks weird if a person just has tan hands!”
Emma: “Okay, Kurt–wouldn’t you love Blaine just as much if he didn’t have tan hands?”
I enjoyed this episode. It got back to a more grounded, realistic high school scenario where moving away feels like an impossible task and where teens overreact about things like relationships and throwing away photographs. But there was one thing that still irked me.
Will Schuester. This is addressed to you. You need to back off. Moving your wedding date up three months because you can’t imagine getting married without your students in attendance? That’s freaking weird. Endangering your relationship because you’re so set on getting married in May that you try and force an OCD woman to a campground? Freaking weird. The face that you made when Brittany lounged on a piano during her rendition of “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”?
Thank god for Samuel, who manages to look good for the entire episode, despite this “hairstyle”: