It’s a new era for social interaction. Sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have made it so that even the least tactful humans are allowed and encouraged to communicate with us on a daily basis. Seeing as finishing schools for digital dealings don’t yet exist, we thought it might be helpful to put together a little guide to the biggest Facebook friendship offenses. Feel free to share with the offenders in your life and contribute to the passive aggressive Internet landscape.
1. Happy B-day! posts about a person’s capped-list party
It’s so tempting to announce to the world that you were invited to a social function (ex. “Can’t wait to celebrate on Saturday!”), but please, restrain yourself. Posting such comments on a person’s wall will just make her spend her birthday feeling bad that the people she didn’t want at her party now know that she didn’t want them at her party. She might lose friends-she-doesn’t-like-that-much-anyway over this!
2. Negative comments on ANYTHING
We’ve all seen those people who “liked” the Facebook page “I wish there were an ‘unlike’ button.” Those same people probably want to “unlike” themselves on a daily basis. There’s just no room for criticism within the confines of a friendship website. We get enough of that when we look up from our computers at work and/or school.
3. Inviting yourself to a “Suggested Event”
I really don’t understand this (relatively) new function on the Events page. It’s confusing and potentially embarrassing that notices about other friends’ parties are mixed in with invitations people actually chose to send you. I almost RSVP’d “Decline” with a sad face to my ex-boyfriend’s birthday party, which would have been the weirdest thing ever. Because he did not actually ask me to come. Sad face. But in any world, you can’t actually show up at your friends’ suggested parties — it’s a dead giveaway that you spend the majority of your life stalking others (even if it’s true).
4. Tagging a million people in a message
Ain’t nobody got time for the reply-all fest that will inevitably ensue. If you’ve got something to say, post it to your wall. That’s why newsfeeds exist. A) Group messages create a sense of diffused responsibility to respond with anything of substance. B) With each new response notification from someone we don’t know and that has nothing to do with us, we’re reminded of how many other friends the sender has. We are but a speck in their oh-so-full-and-totally-together social life.
5. Re-tagging a person in a picture he/she has already un-tagged
Let’s say you notice a friend wasn’t tagged in one of your pictures. That’s odd, you thought. I must have missed her the first time around. So you added her name back in, patting yourself on the back for having just done a mitzvah. Everybody loves pictures! Everybody, that is, except your friend, who had a shot with Justin Timberlake until JT saw how ugly her arm looked from that angle. He then went on to marry Jessica Biel. Now your friend cries every time she hears pop music.
6. Friend Requests when you guys aren’t at that level yet
Entering into a Facebook friendship with someone grants them access to basically your whole life . . . and they’ll know if you’re privacy-controlling them. But somehow it seems less awkward to friend someone than to ask for his/her number. A good litmus test: would you want this person accidentally finding out about your birthday party and attending and/or resenting you? Yeah, maybe give it a couple weeks.
What are some other Facebook friendship offenses? Let us know in the comments!