6 Ways To Get Out Of Spending Money On Valentine’s Day

This Valentine’s Day, you’d probably be happy with a signed Post-It that says, “Don’t worry, I still like you.” Your significant other, on the (significant) other hand, is probably expecting a private ride on a Fat Thursday float (the extension of Mardi Gras you commissioned just to demonstrate your commitment to each other). If you don’t have the cash or N’awlins clout to make that happen, here are some low-cost moves you can make.

Make one of those coupon books PowerPoints

Those are cute, right? Like, “Redeem for a heart-to-heart,” “Back rub for 5 minutes”—all it takes is a notepad and some colorful Sharpies. Or you know what? It’s the 21st century, just make a few PowerPoint slides and save on Sharpies. “Good for 1 Free Hug” = the broke person’s Get Out Of Jail Free Card.



She’ll be so impressed you busted out your pots and pans, she won’t put it together that you got all your ingredients at 7-Eleven. Who wants some Ritz Bits and beef jerky for dessert?!


Find a marathon of some TV show he/she would like

Your significant other will think it’s sweet that you’ve been thinking about his taste in media. He’ll want to make you feel good about your thoughtfulness, so he’ll enjoy (or try really hard to enjoy) as many hours of that program as you’d recommend. Whoops, now it’s midnight; guess you guys won’t be seeing that 3-D movie tonight after all.


Sneak something gross into your date’s first course

How are you with schemes and machinations? Try taking your loved liked one to dinner, but as soon as the lobster bisque arrives, slip a cat whisker into it. Then call your server over and use words like “preposterous,” “insulting,” and “feliny” (a feline felony, your call), and insist they comp the meal.


Dress up as Cupid; tell everyone you have
to work today and can’t commit to plans

Cupid’s one of those things everyone wants to believe in, so if you dress the part and claim your cherbic-ness with enough conviction, you might make your bf/gf think you truly are a winged naked infant. A busy, winged naked infant. You’ll also have an arrow on you, which will make most people want to take a rain check on hanging out with you anyway.


End all romance in your life

Hey, relationships in your teens and twenties usually have a shelf-life of six months to a year. If you put your Valentine’s Day money into a college tuition fund, you’ll probably be able to hook up with a lot more people and walk away with a degree that’ll yield returns for the rest of your life. Let’s show some fiscal responsibility, shall we?

What are some other ways you can get out of spending money on Valentine’s Day? Let us know in the comments!

Photos: CBS’ How I Met Your Mother; Cupid by Jepoycamboy

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