One of the best things about road trips is that they’re not real life. You get to listen to music without judgement. You don’t have to make your hair look good or ever change out of your comfy clothes. Best? You can eat all the gas station garbage that you’d normally sneer at. If you’re road tripping, these seven foods are the must-haves. Heck! We’d go on a road trip just to nom some of this junk food guilt free.
After you check out our list, check out our chat with two authors we’d love to split a Slim Jim with: Maureen Johnson and Sarah Rees Brennan. We’re joining them as they travel on their epic author tour and you can come along! Thursday, March 21, at 7 p.m. ET, it’s the On The Road live chat. Sign up for a chat reminder here!
1. Slim Jims
Look at that picture. Pepperoni flavored. Why flavored? Why not just pepperoni? Because there is no meat in Slim Jims and that’s how we like it.
These snack cakes raise so many questions. Why dye the coconut pink when actual snowballs are white? Why not use vanilla cake since actual snowballs are white? Congrats on making the cream filling white, but why did you make it out of whipped plastic that coats your mouth for hours? #LoveSnoBallsSoHard
They’re salty and sweet and you can use them to give yourself witch claws. Hey—anything that takes your mind off the interminable stretch of highway between you and your destination is a good thing.
Love onion rings? Then you’ll hate Funyuns. Don’t like onion rings but love vaguely vegetable-flavored puff circles? Funyuns are for you. The rest of the car will hate you for your Funyuns breath, but never mind the haters. You have to do you.
5. Mountain Dew Code Red
Something about the slight hint of strawberry and urgency makes Mountain Dew Code Red taste so much better than regular Mountain Dew. It also might be the color. Mountain Dew is an electric color that has never been seen in nature. This is red. Lots of things in nature are red! Roses, cherries, the flash you see as your heart seizes up after you drink too much Mountain Dew Code Red . . .
6. Corn Dogs
Really, anything that is served via stick is great car food. Ain’t nobody got time for utensils!
7. Red Bull
You need to take the night shift? No problem. You can take the next three night shifts, straight through. Heck! Take the day shifts too. Heck! Drive to the South Pole. You can drive on water right? Can’t you? YOU’RE WEAK. DRINK MORE RED BULL.
Vote now for the essential road-trip snack. Did we leave off your favorite? Let us know in the comments!